Thursday, 29 August 2013

Dream Big

"Horner Dreams of Taking The Red Jersey," "Purito Dreaming of a Worlds Win," "DiLuca Dreaming of Staying Out of Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison," "Schleck Dreams of Unicorns and Lollipops." It seems that cyclists, particularly of the pro stripe, dream a lot. French housewives used to dream of Virenque, who they thought was just dreamy but which most of the people I've surveyed find about as creditable as the French fascination with Jerry Lewis, or the German infatuation with Hasselhof.

Have I offended everyone yet?

I typically don't dream. Whether I do dream and I never remember it, or I don't dream at all, that's a distinction that some lab coat can make but which I don't. This is part of a long standing personal tradition where things that I don't remember didn't happen. Unless she was hot.

Last night I had a weird dream. Probably following on Uncle Pappy's post about the abject failure (and quite frankly, total ripoff) that was USAC's "Race Clean" program, I dreamed that I was taking some medication, lord knows what it was but it was dispensed in a cartoonishly large hypodermic needle, was clear, and was more viscous than water. The closing scene of this dream was drug testers coming into my room, where I was half asleep, and me looking at them with the needle, about to loose a large drop, obscuring them from me. I was tranquilo, since this was not a performance enhancing thing (whatever it did, I know not), but I didn't have a TUE and therefore I was about to completely screw myself.

The reason I know that this was not a performance enhancing bromide of whatever stripe is that I have had all the power of a dirty dishrag lately. Bluntly, I suck. Don't know why. Stress, training load, fatigue, whatever else, and lord knows I've got 'em these days, whatever it is I just plain balls out suck. Which is great timing since I'm about to get in a car later today and head to VT for Green Mountain, where I will probably come in last.

Last time I promised pictures and yet gave none. Free content on the internet is a false economy. Sorry.

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