I Have Asian Hair

Okay, so I've taken my meds and am recovered from yesterday's tirade. Actually, I'm not, I just live with it most of the time. But hey, apparently Middle Eastern entities owning 10% of Citibank, our nation's biggest bank, is a good enough thing to send the Dow up 215 or so points. We are going to be tenants in our own country before very long at all. Party on, Wayne!!!

Anyhow, on to matters more tonsorial. I have Asian hair. I realized this one day when I saw a picture of Chairman Mao.



Then a friend told me "you have Asian hair." A friend in college used to tell me I had dog hair, like a golden retriever. Fair enough, except that I still can't lick my own balls.

Erik Zabel also has Asian hair. I think he might have it more than I do:



For a bunch of years in college, I had really long hair. I looked like this:



I also ate a lot of mushrooms in college, which is another thing I have in common with Senor Allman. Except that I now, at 37 as of tomorrow (f-ing scary as hell to type that), look almost as old as he did when this picture was taken. He was about 27 when this was taken.

For a long time recently, I kept my hair really short. This is what made me look more and more like Zabel, except of course my hair is insanely light colored. But we're both German, and we both have hair that, lacking any other clear directive (spackle, epoxy, overwhelming gravity due to insane length, etc) will go straight the hell up in the air.

Now that I've realized my hair's true Tao, I keep it a little longer. I go to a Viet lady to get it cut. She understands it.

Now my only problem is that it always pokes out of my helmet when I ride, which looks absolutely ridiculous.

Perhaps I should complete my look with a stylish do-rag. That's a joke that you have to do the Marshall ride to get. Trust me, it's funny as hell.